My Great-Grandmother, Lorene (White) Jones lost her mother, Icy Lucretia (Bowers) White when she was just eight years young.. Icy was only 34 years young. She died on March 4th, 1921, of tuberculosis.
My Great-Grandfather, Richard Blanford lost his mother, Mary Agnes (Nally) Blanford when he was only thirteen years young. Mary Agnes was only 32 years young. She died on January 28th, 1927, of tuberculosis.
Nearly all of my ancestors lost children... some lost a lot more children than others. My Uncle Jay passing away on July 5th, 2014, at just 49 years old.. seeing the brokenness inside my ailing Grandparents, my Mom, my Dad, and most of all, Nick... it broke me, too, in a way I can't explain to you.
Young death is unbearable. Probably no one could explain this to you better than my Dad.
My Dad watched his Mom drop dead right before his eyes on July 10th, 1982, at just 48 years young. My Dad was a month from turning seventeen years old. They were at home. I believe he was in the living room and she was in the kitchen. He watched her fall...and from where he sat on the couch, he watched the life leave her eyes.
The coroner said she was "dead before she even hit the floor." My Grandma died of a massive coronary infarction -- heart attack. She drank way more than what was good for her and she worked too many jobs to take care of too many kids and Grandkids... she did what she had to do to provide for herself and her family. But it cost her her life.
My Dad, too, is a beacon of strength in my eyes. Losing his mother and then the way his father treated him afterwards... it hardened him. My Dad lived in his car at one point with his dog. He couch surfed. He stayed with family friends. He faked his birth certificate once upon a time just so he could get a full time job while he was underage to make ends meet. I'm not sure anyone in my family tree had it harder than my Dad.
My Great-Grandmother, Anna Elizabeth (Thompson) Sandefur lost her Dad in 1959, her older sister in 1964, her husband in 1970, her eldest daughter in 1982, and her two sons within six weeks of one another in 1994. Nana definitely endured a lot of death.. she buried three out of six children -- ADULT children... more than any parent should ever have to.
She lost her husband in 1970 and NEVER remarried. Nana lived until 2001... that's 31 years without her husband, without remarrying, without ever having a steady boyfriend... nothing. Nana poured her heart and soul into her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. And I'll be frank -- quite a few of them didn't deserve her love and kindness. They certainly did her dirty, did her dirty after her death, and did her legacy dirty.
Mary Janella knew quite a bit about loss. She buried a younger sister in 1913, a daughter (named after that younger sister) in 1915, her father in 1925, a younger brother in 1926..
Dad LaRue and Carrie Byrd lost their fair share of children. 1909, 1910, and 1921. Dad LaRue also lost at least seven of his siblings in early adolescence to early adulthood. I can't imagine how that shattered him as a person. He also lost his parents when he was only about 17-18 years of age.
Like I said, I could go on and on about ancestors and the children they've lost, the siblings they lost too young.. If you've endured a young loss, you're the definition of strength in my opinion. You've gone through something that no one should have to. It was popular back then and it's becoming ever-increasing in popularity now.
Growing old is a privilege denied to many. It isn't a right. It isn't a guarantee. We aren't promised tomorrow. Make the most out of today.
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