52 Ancestors 2021: Week 51: Holidays

The holidays were honestly never my favorite time of year. My Dad would always make the holidays -- Thanksgiving and Christmas, especially -- such stressful, anxiety riddled experiences. You couldn't enjoy Thanksgiving without being screamed at; and you couldn't enjoy Christmas because every year it was the same old thing, "we aren't buying gifts next year. We're going to spend that $500 or that $1,000 on ourselves." Then it would get to be about two days before Christmas with the family and we'd have to make a mad scramble to Walmart or Sears and buy this person this and that person that and "we have to spend $$ on them because they're spending $ on us." It was miserable, really. 

I do miss seeing my family, though. I miss my Grandparents, I miss the occasional laughter, and the good food. I miss making memories with important people. I will never miss the chaotic-ness or the stress, but I will miss the people and the memories, for sure. 

They say that holidays are really aimed at children and people who have children - they aren't wrong. I'm 29 next month and no holiday besides my birthday really holds much significance to me because I don't have children. I don't have a kid to spoil with an Easter basket and take on Easter egg hunts. I don't have a kid to 'ooh' and 'aah' at fireworks on the Fourth of July with. I don't have a kid to take trick-or-treating. I don't have a kid to help them make hand-turkey's at Thanksgiving. I don't have a kid to help unwrap Christmas gifts on Christmas morning and marvel at everything 'Santa' brought them. 

My Grandma made the holidays bright. My Grandma had an infectious smile and laugh. Even in your darkest hour, she could bring out the light inside of you. Her smile lit up the entire world, and trust me, it's been dark ever since she left this Earth. You might not see the darkness, but I do. 

The holidays were usually just myself, Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, and Uncle Charles. Some years Jay would be there, some years his kids would be there. When I was really young, Christmas was a full family affair but.. I don't have many memories of those Christmases. I do remember my Great-Grandma and her coming for Christmas. We were so close, that's why she sticks out in my mind. 

I remember cooking with Grandma for every major holiday. I wish I had a large family to cook for at the holidays, but I never will. We usually had ham at Easter, turkey at Thanksgiving, and ham or something else at Christmas. One year we had steaks at Christmas. I remember my Dad lighting the grill and Grandma telling him, "I want my steak well done." "Glynda, that's an insult to the steak. I can't do that to that poor steak." "I won't eat it if there's any color left in it." My Dad cried while cooking that steak, lol. 

Sometimes we'd grill hamburgers and hot dogs for a holiday. Fourth of July or Grandpa's birthday - July 31st. 

This is an old photo from the 1980's. My Mom is wearing a Santa hat that is embroidered in glitter with my Grandma's name - Glynda... I have the hat now in the hall closet. It was one thing I absolutely was going to take from my Grandparents house, hell or highwater. My Grandma, or myself, wore it every Christmas. 

Here's a photo from the 1970's. My Mom, her brother Jay, my Great-Grandma, and my Grandpa. My Grandma must have taken the photograph. I'm unsure if this is Christmas or Mom and Jay's birthday as they were born January 8th and January 11th... two years and three days apart. 

The last holiday we were all together and celebrated was I believe Father's Day 2013.. after that, my Grandma was kidnapped and life continued to go to hell in a handbasket from there.

I know I have some other Christmas photos somewhere, but they aren't on the laptop apparently, so I'll have to share them another time. Gives me more photos to share on another holiday-themed blog post. 

I have some photographs of Fourth of July fireworks and Thanksgiving dinners that I can share in future, too, in another holiday themed blog post. :)